Wednesday, October 21, 2009

How To Create A Monster!


This is a real letter and Alex only got a detention for daring to contradict the power crazed control freak that was allowed to fuck with his mind. This is the story of my young life and how a demented nun managed to beat the fear of god out of me and instill a life long absolute contempt for authority in a matter of 5 traumatic minutes in a grade school corridor. Fuck you, Sister Mary Theonella, you still don't shit about American History...

8 comments:

mud_rake said...

...but she didn't NEED to know shit about history or geography or math because whatever she said was the truth. Reminds me of any of those in a religious cult [with or sans habit] who 'know' what is right, because they know what is right.

Hopefully, educators have come a long way since 1994. Standards for teaching have been raised and teachers are expected to attend seminars on improving their teaching methods and learning what has been called, best practices in the classroom.

However, this only applies to public school teachers. Sister Mary Theonella and other christian school teachers are not required. They only need to have a temperature of 37°C.

Unknown said...

Wow, what a fantastic letter. What a document. It's priceless.

In my family my younger brother was the one always getting in trouble. He's 53 now but we still laugh about the time Sr. Inez cut his tie off with a scissors in some kind of a rage. My father of course blamed my brother.

steve said...

The wall in 3 sentences:

"Hey Teacher!! Leave those kids Alone!"

(awesome guitar solo)

"If you don't eat your meat.. ya cana have any pudding.. how can ya have any pudding ifya donna eat ya meat?"

Engineer of Knowledge said...

I had a 6th grade teacher that no matter what I did, it was wrong. She damn near turned me off from education at that point. I would love to interact with her today as an experienced adult instead of the child I was then.....But I am sure the Bitch is dead. I wish I knew where her grave is today so I could piss on it.

microdot said...

well, it wasn't only Sister Mary Theonella, but having the enraged bitch pound my head against a tile wall incoherently screaming with spittle flying my face...meanwhile...the internal crisis in my 12 year old head "If I slug a nun, I will go to hell.....)

This was the result of her telling my friends not to listen to me because I thought I knew everything...and it was an obscure point on civil war history that brought it to a head...

a year or so later, I had a home room teacher named Mr. Garliski who weighed, and I'm not exagerating over 400 pounds...he was a sadist who would always preface his abuse with..."This is a little trick the Jesuits taught me.....")

In retrospect, I have to thank these twisted perverts, because without them to have beaten enlightenment into me, to make me question any authority, to be able to see the hypocrisy of christianity...I would probably be a fat retired brain dead loser with a fucked up family and a legacy of regrets....

steve said...

An answer to that age old pink floyd question:

http://izismile.com/img/img2/20090603/canned_food_59.jpg

microdot said...

Oh man, I wish I was going to be in the UK for more than a few hours, then I could get a chance to check out trhe entire fine line of goblin products...
The meat pudding looks intriguing from a purely anthropmorphological point of view...
The web site is worth a gander and they have a fine line of promotional products featuring gilbert the goblin.
I wouldn't mind a pair of gilbert the goblin boxers....

http://www.gobblinggoblin.co.uk/

Established back in the early 1920’s, the Goblin brand is still going strong and is back on the map with a fantastic new campaign for 2007.

Quick to cook, great-tasting and priced cheaper than half a lager, Goblin meat puddings can’t be beaten for a quick and easy snack or meal. Whether you’ve just come in from the pub, can’t afford a take-away or are simply missing your mum’s home-cooking Goblin puddings are the perfect food.

Your grandparents will be most likely to remember the Goblin ready meals and the delicious meat puddings! These are rapidly becoming a favourite with students across the UK. You may have even received a free sample in your freshers fair goody bags! You can also buy them at most supermarkets.

Barb said...

Wow, no wonder you guys can't stand Christianity or Christian women who claim to know anything.

I'm sorry you had such bad experiences --really.

As for the letter, sounds like Junior in his immaturity DID try to foment rebellion instead of just disagreeing --but the teacher was a fool.