Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Father, What's The Church's Attitude Towards Fellatio?


This was in yesterdays Guardian/Observer:
Southern California's Menifee Union school district has banned the Merriam Webster's 10th edition from use in fourth and fifth grade classes, over this salacious definition of "oral sex": "oral stimulation of the genitals".
"It's hard to sit and read the dictionary, but we'll be looking to find other things of a graphic nature," district spokeswoman Betti Cadmus told the paper. While some parents have praised the move - "[it's] a prestigious dictionary that's used in the Riverside County spelling bee, but I also imagine there are words in there of concern," said Randy Freeman - others have raised concerns. "It is not such a bad thing for a kid to have the wherewithal to go and look up a word he may have even heard on the playground," father Jason Rogers told local press. "You have to draw the line somewhere. What are they going to do next, pull encyclopaedias because they list parts of the human anatomy like the penis and vagina?"
This somehow reminds me of the  Rowan Atkinson routine, where a priest shares this with the congregation at a wedding:
It was a couple of years ago, a young attractive bride to be came up to me after the service and asked me just that question. "Father, what is the church's attitude towards fellatio?" And I replied, "Well, you know, Joanne, I'd like to tell you, but unfortunately, I don't know what fellatio is."
And so she showed me.
And ever since, whenever anyone has asked me the question "Father, what is the church's attitude towards fellatio?" I always reply, "Well, you know, I'd like to tell you... but unfortunately, I don't know what fellatio is."

3 comments:

Laci the Chinese Crested said...

Well, that just sucks!


(bad pun)

mud_rake said...

So the dictionary is now banned from the classroom? I wonder, though about those classrooms in Christian schools- the ones with many Bibles lying around with those deliciously sensual and erotic stories in them.

For the Bible says...

steve said...

I doubt they will be banning "song of solomon", or the story of "Boaz and Ruth" anytime soon.

Maybe that's why the catholic church tried so hard to prevent Martin Luther from translating the bible from latin to german.. all those racy stories.